by TightWad » Mon May 09, 2005 1:24 pm
Okay, 17 things:
(1) Speaking of drunken exams, I spent exactly 7 months at college. I only passed one test, which was a German oral exam...I was completely stoned at the time, but I aced that fucker.
(2) What the hell does your name mean, Mecos?
(3) Ya frickin Mizer.
(4) Or is it Mizor?
(5) Whatever.
(6) Alcoholic degenerate gamblers rock!
(7) I remember this one time, I woke up pretty early by my standards, so I figured what the hell, maybe I'll take a walk, get some breakfast, enjoy the beautiful spring weather, because at the time, it was in fact spring, and the weather was beautiful, hence the term "beautiful spring weather", but for some reason, it took me like half an hour to find my god-damned left shoe, which turned out be in my refrigerator, and we can only assume this fact was directly linked to the 18 empty beer bottles sitting on my table, but anyway, that's not really the point, the point is that by the time I found my shoe and attempted to execute my grand scheme of taking a nice walk in the beautiful spring weather, and also something about getting breakfast...damn, I forget the point.
(8) Mecos, where's your signature from?
(9) Okay, I remembered the point, which was that after I eventually found my shoe, I did in fact take a nice walk and had a delicious breakfast. I forget what I had, but I'm pretty sure eggs-over-hard was an important part of it. Am I the only one that eats eggs that way? Perhaps. Anyway, the reason this is an important point is that while I was out eating breakfast, work called (this was back when I had a job) to see if I could fill in for someone. By the time I got back and called them, it turned out that they'd already found someone, so I didn't have to come in, BUT HERE'S THE KICKER...
(10) The kicker is that my coworker later told me that during her shift, the one that I was supposed to cover, there was a real humdinger of a traffic accident at the intersection right near the gas station I worked at. Apparently, something involved a car running a red-light and getting T-boned by not one, but two pick-up trucks.
(11) The moral is that if I had not taken so long to find my shoe, I would've been back from breakfast in time to get the phone-call, I would've gone into work, and been able to witness a traffic accident that far exceeds all of the rather humdrum one's I've seen to date. More to the point, had I not gotten drunk the night before, my shoe wouldn't have been in the refrigerator, so you COULD say that my drinking issues were at fault.
(12) Approximately 18% of the preceeding story was, in fact, true.
(13) God-damn, I'm running out of "things"...
(14) Skip to point 17.
(15) Skip this point.
(16) And this one.
(17) -TW