Hypothetical Question

[Tiburon]

Pop quiz--what do you do?

[MVPSPORTS]

Tib... I'm gonna start another pole saying basically: "Does ANYONE believe that ANYONE who says no to this isn't completely full of shit...?" I fully agree that strippers ARE crazy... But, that doesn't mean I'm not goin in the champagne room with them if they ask... I can run, but I can't run THAT fast.. Besides, they know how to go away when you throw money at em.. Actually, the perfect woman...

I'm assuming this poll (pole ) has something to do w/ your bachelor party... Hope you're not having second thoughts...

[MecosKing]

Yeah dude you pretty much phrased the question in such a way that really, anyone that votes no should be exposed, and forever flamed on this board. I mean if you had said 'would you DATE a stripper' or 'would you have a stripper for a girlfriend', then opinions can vary. But 'would you bang a hot stripper with no strings?' is pretty much like asking 'if you found $100 on the ground that didn't belong to anyone, would you take it?'

Oh I get what your doin...your trying to figure out who the latent homosexuals on this board are eh? Clever!

[Tiburon]

Yeah, it was loaded. Unintentionally. I guess the better way to ask the question would be something like, would you take a shot if you were getting married in 11 days. No strings attached (except for the overwhelming feeling of guilt), because this is definitely not shitting where you eat.

Second thoughts? Naah, but wondering about maybe one last...I dunno. I have been on serious stripper-tilt for 3 days now. She gave me her schedule and told me to come back and see her. That combined with the fact that the couch dance was heading in a quick way toward something far beyond a couch dance--how many horizontal couch dances have you had?

I love my soon-to-be-wife, but I 've just been wondering--this chick blasted me. I know I should just forget about it, but this chick just keeps popping up in my head. Maybe I can get the missus to try and do some of the stuff that the stripper did...

I might need you for that divorce, Mecos--make sure you get admitted to the bar in NJ....

[Dumb Snowman]

You have 11 days to do whoever/whatever you want. Use them. Just uhh... don't get caught.

[kingsalami]

I have about 6-7 weeks before i get hitched myself. so i'm in the same boat, and my answer is no. now if i'm single obviously my answer is yes.

[kennyg]

I think you're taking that dance way too seriously. I'm a stripper connsiuer (however the hell you spell that) and let me tell you..it's all about the money. Strippers know how to make you feel wanted and feel like you're there "special customer."

And before you say "but this situation is different"....trust me i know.

Besides..do you really want to feel guilty for the rest of your life??

I think you should try some new stuff with soon to be mrs. tiburon. Spice it up man.

[rdale]

Eh... I'm all about strippers for girlfriends, they always have their own money, they might bring friends home to fool around, and they are crazy. Even the more sane ones are crazy, and if you are ready for dealing with emotional variance, it can be super rewarding.

Don't mistake the attention you are getting at the club as genuine affection, if she gives you her schedule it means you are a good tipper and less repulsive than other people. It is her job to like you, and encourage you to drop by, if you are actually pleasant to entertain it is that much better.

I had a string of stripper girlfriends a few years ago. I wasn't seeking them out, would meet this hot chick at a party, and it would happen that she is a dancer. When you meet them outside of their job and the affection is there, then you can take it as real, or as real of an emotion as they can muster. Whatever happens in the club is a part of the fantasy they are engineering, don't lose sleep or muck up your life over it.

[kingsalami]

I agree with kenny, get her out of your head. One night with some dirty stripper (which is likely to result in getting some horrid disease that affects the most important part of your body) is not worth a real woman, i.e. your soon to be wife.

[Tiburon]

I think you're all right.

However, I have been to many clubs over time (reaching connoisseur status as well ) , and I will tell you flat out that this dance went WAY farther than anything I've had any place else. Much farther than the other dances I had at THAT club. Far enough that it drew attention--and she didn't know I was the guest of honor at a bachelor party.

But I digress.

My common sense is returning. I think the guilt from even pursuing this would be fu**ing terrible. I've been with the soon-to-be-Mrs. for a long time, and even if this adorablly hot stripper was genuinely interested in me, do I really want to risk what I have for what will absolutely not be anything more than one night (and 6-8 weeks in the clinic?). I've never had a one-night thing (flame away), and I'm not going to start now. And besides, strippers themselves are -EV. DATING (Ok, fu**ing or otherwise screwing around with) strippers has to be HUGE -EV. To a stripper money in your pocket=money in HER pocket.

I appreciate the advice, all. I think I'm going to go home tonight and get some serious freak on with the woman.

But if I were single...

Thanks again guys. You've all helped clear my mind--even though the answer was obvious, it's better to hear it from someone else!

Oh, and salami--if you think planning the wedding was rough, wait until you get to the last 3 weeks--her maid of honor doesn't have her dress yet because the bridal shop screwed up, the florist doesn't have a final bill for you, some guests have STILL NOT RESPONDED, and even she doesn't know what house she's leaving from on the wedding day because your soon-to-be-mother-in-law is pissy because she's breaking tradition by not leaving from the coat closet she used to call home.

We've lived together for 3 friggin years. Do I give a hoot about tradition?

Oh, and you've ALREADY put out $15,000, with another $6000+ STILL to come...

[/rant]

[kingsalami]

Wait you mean theres still more aggravation i have to look foward to. I thought i was finally done. 1 Damnit, i can't wait for the honeymoon. Planning a wedding sucks. Advice for all you single guys when your time comes, ELOPE (i think thats how its spelled)

[Tiburon]

I second that. Elope. Planning a wedding sucks hard, and is extremely -EV.

Grab your best friend, and your girl's best friend (even better if they're already a couple), fly to an island, get married on the beach, and have a party at your house when you get back.

[MVPSPORTS]

Wow... that sucks that I'm the ONLY total degenerate here that would've banged the hooker (er... stripper...)... Hell, you're not married yet... and since marriage is the end of all things fun... Now may be your last chance...

Boy, how depressing...

[kennyg]

lol. mvp.....i love your outlook on life. it's a great read. haha

[striker2550]

Do not, repeat, DO NOT get emotionally involved w/ any stripper beyond being just "f buddies".

If u decide to have a little fun then find one that will do a "private party" outside of the club and not thru the club. Then keep it emotionally on a "professional" level. Better yet find two at the same time and have a memory fit for a lifetime.

Also, if u go for it, never never NEVER put anything on paper or electronic storage. This includes everything. phone numbers, addresses, names, times, places NOTHING. and tell no one.

And if ever confronted. DENY DENY DENY. Even if videotape exists.

Or better yet, just stay w/ the woman your gonna spend the rest of your life with.