Top two dead-baby jokes:
1) What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
An erection.
2) What's the difference between a dead baby and a ham sandwich?
You don't fuck a ham sandwich before you eat it.
JOKES !!!
Moderators: TightWad, LPF Police Department
44 posts
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by EscapePlan9 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:34 pm
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
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by EscapePlan9 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:36 pm
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
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by Proplayer44 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:41 pm
Did you here Mickey mouse and Mini Mouse are getting a divorce?
Ya, well apparently they were in court and the judge says, listen Mickey I can't grant you a divorce simply because you say Mini is silly.
(In a mickey mouse voice)
I didn't say she was silly, I said she was FUCKING GOOFY!!!
Ya, well apparently they were in court and the judge says, listen Mickey I can't grant you a divorce simply because you say Mini is silly.
(In a mickey mouse voice)
I didn't say she was silly, I said she was FUCKING GOOFY!!!
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Proplayer44 - Posts: 414
- Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:13 pm
by EscapePlan9 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:42 pm
My favorite "live baby" joke:
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
- Posts: 4305
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- Location: Rochester, NY
by Felonius_Monk » Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:42 pm
What's red and white and hangs from telephone wires?
A baby pushed through a wood chipper.
A baby pushed through a wood chipper.
The Monkman J[c]
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
"Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down." - Snow, 1993
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Felonius_Monk - Semi Pro (B&M & Online)
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- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:40 am
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
by RedBarracuda » Thu Aug 30, 2007 8:15 pm
what's worse then one baby in a trash can?
one baby in 3 trash cans
one baby in 3 trash cans
(6:35:48 PM) giantgrwth: I once beat up an attempted murderer, 25% true story
(6:35:59 PM) hard2tel45s: boxing?
(6:36:06 PM) giantgrwth: Yea
(6:36:14 PM) hard2tel45s: sweet
(6:36:30 PM) giantgrwth: He was my best friend too, lol
(6:36:48 PM) hard2tel45s: well u were in the crazy bin bro
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RedBarracuda - Enthusiast (Online)
- Posts: 3298
- Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 4:38 pm
- Location: Croatia
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
- Posts: 4305
- Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 2:22 pm
- Location: Rochester, NY
by RedBarracuda » Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:23 pm
(6:35:48 PM) giantgrwth: I once beat up an attempted murderer, 25% true story
(6:35:59 PM) hard2tel45s: boxing?
(6:36:06 PM) giantgrwth: Yea
(6:36:14 PM) hard2tel45s: sweet
(6:36:30 PM) giantgrwth: He was my best friend too, lol
(6:36:48 PM) hard2tel45s: well u were in the crazy bin bro
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RedBarracuda - Enthusiast (Online)
- Posts: 3298
- Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 4:38 pm
- Location: Croatia
by Pok 7's » Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:46 am
Something To Offend Nearly Everyone
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment
Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring
Q. Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work
in the future either.
Q. What do you call a Mississippi
farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.
Q. Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday,
the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description
of the animal on the front of the cage
along with a recipe.
Q. How do you get a sweet little
80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
A. Get another sweet little
80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once
upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't
gonna believe this ****."
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run,
jump or swim are already in the United
States
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment
Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring
Q. Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work
in the future either.
Q. What do you call a Mississippi
farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.
Q. Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday,
the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description
of the animal on the front of the cage
along with a recipe.
Q. How do you get a sweet little
80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
A. Get another sweet little
80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once
upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't
gonna believe this ****."
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run,
jump or swim are already in the United
States
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Pok 7's - Posts: 3831
- Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:26 pm
- Location: ...Halfway between card dead and missing flops
by RedBarracuda » Fri Aug 31, 2007 9:12 am
(6:35:48 PM) giantgrwth: I once beat up an attempted murderer, 25% true story
(6:35:59 PM) hard2tel45s: boxing?
(6:36:06 PM) giantgrwth: Yea
(6:36:14 PM) hard2tel45s: sweet
(6:36:30 PM) giantgrwth: He was my best friend too, lol
(6:36:48 PM) hard2tel45s: well u were in the crazy bin bro
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RedBarracuda - Enthusiast (Online)
- Posts: 3298
- Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 4:38 pm
- Location: Croatia
by Internet Girlfriend » Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:13 pm
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Internet Girlfriend - Posts: 118
- Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:22 pm
- Location: Dallas
by EscapePlan9 » Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:26 pm
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EscapePlan9 - Professional Donk-n-Go'r
- Posts: 4305
- Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 2:22 pm
- Location: Rochester, NY
by Proplayer44 » Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:29 pm
Bill Hicks
Standup joke during the first gulf war.
I have the obscure distinction of
Being for the War,
But against our troops!!!!
yuk, yuk, yuk..
Standup joke during the first gulf war.
I have the obscure distinction of
Being for the War,
But against our troops!!!!
yuk, yuk, yuk..
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Proplayer44 - Posts: 414
- Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:13 pm
44 posts
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