Shatter my masturbation record

I'll be in India for Christmas and probably for New Years as well. I'm going to Melbourne for the Aussie Millions within the first few days of Jan though.

h8 holidays, love xmas carols.

will be in dallas, isolating and drinking heavily... grandmothers for xmas eve, dysfunctional family antics will run amok when the irish and italians get together. I presume there will be 2 fights, one ending in fisticuffs. 1 spread of excellent food, 2 passed out uncles, one of the younger kids will get shitfaced for his/her first time as is tradition around the family. one of the older cousins will get exceedingly drunk and begin singing xmas carols at the top of lungs. 1 more fight will break out, my grandmother will have had enough and switch to vodka. grandma passes out. kids are everywhere and the few remaining adults are out back smoking cigs or cigars...and as santa swoops toward the house he's like "fuck that" for the 22nd consecutive year.

happy festivus btp

All right, I'm doing the same thing I do every year. Go to Turlock, spend Christmas eve with family and maybe play some 3/5 NL at TPR (ok, 3/5 is new, it used to be 6/12 FK LHE). On Christmas morning, head over to the SF area to drink a shitload of wine and eat standing rib roast and other delicious Christmas favorites and maybe watch some college football bowl game on TV. Then drive home, except now home is 5 hours away, not 2

This year, I think I will catch some crab and bring it to eat on Christmas. Funny - eating crab will always remind me of Roy - especially the look on his face when the waiter set the 1/2 crab down in front of him and he looked at it with a oh-my-God-WTF-do-I-do-with-this look on his face. Instant classic - sorry no video.