Anyway, there was a silent auction and a live auction, and the usual random things designed to get you to spend more money. During the live auction, one of the guys who volunteers for the non-profit takes the mic and starts blabbing about how it was great to volunteer because it was him and 25 women. He then says that he also told them that they needed to have at least one guys item in the auction (as there had been the usual furs, jewelry, and trips). A young lady then walks out with a nice looking semi-automatic shotgun. She proceeds to make half the room cringe by holding it up with both hands and swinging around to show everyone the gun (which points at half the ballroom in the process). Thankfully, the action was open and there was a very visible safety lock through it.
In any case, the guy announces that they are going to raffle off the gun for $20 a ticket. Each person gets half a playing card, with the other half being the tickets from which the winner is going to be drawn. I pony up 20 and am promptly given the 3 of spades. I take this as a terrible omen, for some reason. One of the partner's wives looks at me and says "its not that bad". The dude asks everyone who has a card to stand up. He then says "if you have a red card, you can go ahead and sit down". He then says "If you have a club, you can go ahead and sit down". Very original and obviously meant to maximize the suspense. He then says "If you have a spade 5 or higher, you can go ahead and sit down". I look at one of the people sitting at our table and say "I've got a one in three shot" as the dude says "If you've got the 3 of spades, come get your gun".

It's a Charles Daly Field Hunter VR-MC, Advantage Timber HD. 12 gauge, 26" barrel, synthetic stock.
I had been meaning to get a shotgun to keep in the trunk of my car during the winter, but had not done it yet. Now I have such a gun.
Go Charity!