It occured to me today that, despite being a skinny twig-like little fucker, I am brutally out of shape. This is rather odd, since I live a very healthy lifestyle (beer, gin, whiskey, cigarettes and junk-food).

I had to take my car to the garage today because it's in horrible shape, despite the fact that I had to shell out $728 on it two weeks ago just to get it to pass inspection. The current problem is that it stalls whenever you hit the gas unless you're REALLY gentle. Fortunately, the ride to the garage was mostly downhill.

Problem is, I had no one to give me a ride back, so I was forced to set out on a GRUELLING, uphill, mile-and-a-half trek over sidewalk, shoulder and state highway in the sweltering summer sun. How's that for some fucking alliteration!?

Yes, I know, a mile and a half should not be at all gruelling. I'm starting to think there might be a grain of truth in those half-baked off-the-wall rumors that smoking is bad for your lungs. I smoke a lot, including 5-6 cigarettes on the walk back. I'm sure that didn't help.

The point I'm trying to make is that this was the most vigorous exercise I've put my under-used cardiovascular system through since that passion-filled 36-hour marathon I spent with Monk's fine-ass sister a couple months ago.

-TW

I hate to break it to you, but that was my dad in a wig.

Shit. I was wondering why your sister would be wearing old spice.

Oh well, if nothing else give your ol' man my sincere compliments on the wax job.

-TW

He waxed for you?? WTF is that about?! Sigh--Inflations a bitch, i guess. $2.50 just dont buy anything anymore.

PS: 5-6 ciagarettes on a 1 1/2 mile walk back?? Either (a) I hope you stopped by someones house on the way or else (b) ya better start pumpin that broll, cuz lemme tellya, oxygen tanks aint cheap!

Gin and beer though? No prob. . My theory is that if it takes 25 yrs or more to kill you usually, then its a fine pastime. But, if it can kill me while I can still get it up, then im bein careful.

Dude, 5-6 cigarettes was an exaggeration!!!

Hah hah, jeeez...

...

Okay, it wasn't an exaggeration.

-TW

Well, on the plus side, you won't have to worry about paying for your retirement from your meagre poker income.

There's ALWAYS a silver lining. Feel better now?