Strategy guide:

Get a load of fat kids. They all stand in a line, one of them throws the ball backwards and then they all run head first into a load of other kids and fight in a big lump. The kid who gets the ball should be able to throw, preferably not like a girl. Lots of fast kids shoudl run around in front and catch the ball when the other guy throws it. OIther kids are likely to run into them or knock them over. Dust everyone off and repeat.

In my playing days at that age we would run ALOT of inside trap plays and they just continued to open up huge holes the whole game. We ran a power I. Have your guard drop down on the nose guard and center slant on the tackle and have your full back blowing through the hole to take on the linebacker. It just seemed the kids never did get use to being blocked by someone they weren't lined up on.

Well, we had equipment handouts yesterday and I already have my first casualty of the season. One of the 7 year olds came and as soon as I started trying helmets on him he got this look of fear on his face like I just threatened to cornhole his puppy. I calmed him down and walked him through the rest of the gear and he seemed ok. I explained that a lot of other7 year olds would be playing and he might even know some of them from school. The fact that his mom had a killer rack and was wearing a spaghetti strap halter thingy had nothing to do with this, of course.

About 20 minutes after leaving they came back. She said he was really nervous in the car and doesn't think football is for him. I convinced them to consider at least playing flag since there's no equipment and a lot less contact. The fact that the flag team practices right next to us and I'd get to check out her bodacious tatas had nothing to do with that, either.