I enjoy losing...really.
Current mood: annoyed
God forbid I ever exude confidence in my journal, about my good poker play. Every time I say something like "I'm the best NL online holdem player in the world" or "I'm going to be famous in 2 years," poker punches me in the face.
I'm still bleeding after the $600 loss on $1/$2 NL today.
Here's a PM I sent to Iceman on BTP a few minutes after my last session of the day:
I hate ****ing fridays I hate ****ing fridays
Today was absoutley rediclous. I lost $600...$500 was BS..$100 was tilt.
I seriously almost throw my laptop after the last hand. I came really really close.
Let me give you some examples..and trust me i'm not exaggerating
dealt 55 in unraised pot.
FLOP KK5. what does the blind have?? kings down!
KK vs 85... which i posted
T8 in the BB against UTG
FLOP T82
now what does UTG have...why 79 of course...and he's gotta make sure he moves allin because he knows the jack will hit. ****!!!!!
I'm so steaming I can't even remember the rest. I mean WTF?!?! I must have had like 10 flush and straights draws each, and missed every single one. Yet, every single time I had a made hand, there god awful gutshot would hit.
I physcially need to hit something. I havn't gotten like this in a long time.
This is the shit that happens when I try to put in hours. I should just ****ing sleep all day when I'm up big for a week. $600 dollars....WTF!!!!
Suffice to say, this was the day I was "bracing for." One of the reasons I hate putting hours towards poker is the gaurentee that I cannot win every session. Going to work and losing money isn't exactly my idea of a good time. God I hate gambling.
Amazingly, there are some positives coming out of this. I have 22 hours for the week. I seriously have my doubts about putting in 8 hours tommorow, but at least I gave it my best effort. If it wasn't for the fact I had to go to my parent's house tommorow, I probably could pull the 8 hours. I wouldn't enjoy it...but it would look and feel great to actually have 30 hours under my belt. Hell it's been a long time since I've had over 15.
Hopefully tommorow will go better. My BB/100 for the week is now 3.14PTBB/100. At least it'll be easy to improve upon
