by Cactus Jack » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:09 am
I guess this is my mid-life crisis, and it's a doozy. In three weeks, I turn 50. I remember when we all said, "Never trust anyone over 30." I remember when Jack Benny was eternally 39. I remember gas being 26 cents a gallon, cars were land-going yachts and Laugh-In was edgy television. Man, I'm old.
Job skills? Ha. I've gone from being highly-charged to practically non-employable. I had a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer cert to completely out of touch. NT was a long time ago. I was a very good manager of people, 20 years ago. I had my own business, refinishing marble floors, 8 years ago. I'm a decent writer, with no prospects. I can sell, but don't care for it very much. I'm reduced to driving a cab now, which I actually do enjoy despite its economic shortcomings. Fact is, I've slid down to the bottom of the employment barrel. A very sad state of affairs, indeed, and even sadder to confess in public. I've played a lot of bad hands.
I don't know if I'm too old or too tired, but somehow I have to pick myself and start again, for the last time. I should know this week whether or not the radio show will be a go or a never was. That decision will be made without my help. It's all pretty depressing, and perhaps even desperate.
Sorry. Got far off track.
New Mexico was one of my favorite places, many years ago. Almost moved there before coming to Florida. The economic picture is brightening there, for sure. Almost picked up and moved to Vegas, back in the Spring. Just not sure if that would be trading one kind of hell for another, more of the same.
I guess I now understand why people pray for guidance. Sometimes you wish someone else was in charge of decisions like this.
CJ
"Are the players better as the stakes go up? It's not an exam; it's a buyin." Barry Tanenbaum