To answer your question, "how do you win", I can only speak from my own experience.

I started at the bottom, penny level, and worked my bankroll up. I only play one table at a time and only full ring limit hold'em. I learned how to win through experience, reading poker books, reading poker forums like this one, and posting specific hands on the forums when I had a question.

Through the above, I learned how to play by adjusting to specific situations and specific tables.

I win most of the days that I play, but not always. I have a journal posted on this website in the journal section, if you are interested.

Some people suggest that table selection is very important, although I don't really take that into account when I play.

From my experience it is possible to win by playing tight. Sometimes I have sessions when I only see 7% of the flops and am still able to win. Sometimes I see 26% of the flops and lose. It depends on the specific situations.

I don't consider myself particularly aggressive, but most of the time I raise if I am the first one in, but not always. Some hands and situations are for limping and some are for raising.

In conclusion, since you are having trouble, I would suggest only play one table at a time, and play the lowest limits you can play to clear bonuses if you are chasing bonuses. I also suggest only playing one type of game until you can master that game.

Anyway, that's my two cents.